Where Are You Now: Nervous System Mapping your inner patterns + returning to self with compassion
Recently, while working with my transformational coach, I uncovered something that I hadn’t been able to name for years:
I’ve been living in survival mode for the last 17 years—since I became a mother at age 20.
Back then, I was surrounded by opinions.
Family members gave me mixed messages—how hard this would be, how disappointed they were, how could I allow this to happen—and in the same breath, “a child is a blessing.”
At 20, I was still trying to figure out who I was.
But instead of having space to grow, I was thrown into proving mode.
Proving I was strong. Proving I was capable. Proving I could do it without breaking.
And that pressure didn’t start with me—it was generational.
It was inherited.
Layered with shame, silence, and the unspoken rule that motherhood meant self-sacrifice at all costs.
Now, at age 37, I’m finally realizing:
I’ve been running for safety all these years—trying to feel stable, secure, seen.
And now, I’m allowed to stop running.
I identified my top two survival patterns:
Flight – Constant doing, avoiding stillness
Fawn – People-pleasing, overgiving, saying yes too often
And I’ve started creating small practices to remind myself:
I don’t have to prove anything anymore.
I get to just be.
Are You in Survival Mode?
Survival mode doesn’t always look dramatic.
It can be quiet, masked as productivity or numbness.
Signs of survival mode:
Always busy but disconnected
Saying yes when you mean no
Feeling flat, reactive, or invisible
Living like safety is something you still have to earn
Nervous System Quiz:
Where Are You Now?
Pick the TWO responses you most relate to right now:
Pattern
Signs You Might Notice
FIGHT
Tension, irritability, needing control
FLIGHT
Overworking, can’t slow down, hyper-productive
FREEZE
Shut down, overwhelmed, can’t get started
FAWN
People-pleasing, guilt when resting, afraid to upset others
What do you notice in your body or habits right now?
3-Minute Nervous System Reset
You don’t need to do more.
Just be with what’s here.
Step 1: Notice
Hand on your body. Ask:
“Where do I feel tight or tense?”
Let your breath meet that space.
Step 2: Ground
Take one breath in. Exhale with a hum or gentle sigh:
“Mmm” or “Ahhh”
Feel your body begin to settle.
Step 3: Reconnect
Whisper to yourself:
“I am enough. I am safe. I don’t have to prove anything.”
Repeat as needed.
invitation:
Say no to something small
Say yes to your own pause
Choose safety from within
You are still becoming. And that becoming is sacred. remember this is a simple invitation. It is not a mandate so whatever you resonate with take it in and whatever you don’t let it be but until then, remember you are powerful and you’re enough until next time. 🧡
